Ask Amie

"Mama, look at HIM!"

Dear Amie,

We are eating dinner on the patio at a nice restaurant with family from out of town.  My five year old daughter is playing on the deck with her three cousins.  Suddenly she runs over to me laughing and pointing at a man with dwarfism who is also walking on the deck (he is a waiter) saying, "Mama, look at him!"  My daughter, who is pretty comfortable and familiar with differences such as people with wheelchairs, amputations, blindness, as well as all colors of skin, literally has her jaw hanging down.  I glance at her cousins, who are well versed in "politeness" and wouldn't dare to say such a thing and realize this is not necessarily what I want to teach here....

Racial slur trips up the mountain

Dear Amie,

I was recently hiking up a peak in the Bitterroots in my Chaco sandals, when a fellow hiker asked me, “How are you going to get to the top in those Jap Flaps?”  I was stunned.  He was carrying a firearm, so I was hesitant to respond to his blatantly racist comment.  What would you have done, Amie?

Signed,

Active Alison, Missoula

"Where are your parents?"

Dear Amie,

Last week my husband and daughter were walking down our neighborhood street.  We are the only Native American family in our small neighborhood and my husband is obviously Native American but our daughter is light skinned and has very light colored hair.  Our daughter was walking a few steps ahead of her dad when one of our neighbors stepped out her front door and asked our daughter where her parents were – she startled our daughter who did not respond and my husband quickly told the lady “I am her dad.”  Our neighbor did not believe my husband and quickly asked our daughter again, “where are your parents?” This time my husband said with a more forceful tone, “I said I am her dad!” Our neighbor quickly went inside her home.  

My question is, why do people assume that when they see a minority man with a young child, especially one with lighter skin, they automatically think something is not right about the situation?